The Pain of Miscarriage

Posted by on Oct 1, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Most people know and realize that miscarriage is a possibility when trying to conceive, with 15-20% of pregnancies ending in miscarriage.  Even though miscarriages are not uncommon, it is difficult, if not impossible to avoid the pain and suffering that comes along with a pregnancy loss.  The physical toll a miscarriage has on a woman’s body is often times surprising and unexpected.  The emotional toll can be even more difficult to experience and comprehend.

Exactly how a miscarriage can emotionally impact a woman and her partner/spouse varies depending on personality, coping styles, and life experience.  It is important to understand that you and your partner may not experience pregnancy loss in the same way.  That does not mean the loss is less meaningful for either of you, just that it is different for each of you.

The grieving process is individual, so it is very important to be able to communicate with your partner/spouse to gain understanding, and be understood as to how each of you are being impacted by such a difficult loss.   Sometimes depression can get in the way of your ability to understand exactly what you are feeling or needing let alone be able to explain it to your spouse/partner.   If you suspect you may be experiencing depression, talk to your doctor about your concerns.  Short-term usage of medication, or counseling, or a combination of both can be beneficial to help you cope.

This is not a time to suffer in silence!  Acknowledge and accept that you have suffered a real loss regardless of how far along you were in your pregnancy.  Friends and loved ones want to help you, but most do now know how.  Although it can feel like a burden to help others help you, it is important to help them understand what you need from them, and what they can do to help.

Asking for support can be difficult, but in the long run you will greatly benefit from the support.  The loss of a child, and the dream of what that child would have been, could have been, is a deep and lasting pain.  It takes time to recover and find hope again.  Be patient with yourself, and your spouse/partner.

When the time is right, chances are good, very good, that you can move on from your loss to a successful pregnancy.  Between the laws of nature and medical treatments, most women that suffer from miscarriage (even recurrent miscarriage) go on to have a successful pregnancy.  Research indicates that there is a 75-80 percent probability of having a successful pregnancy after two miscarriages, a 70 percent probability after three miscarriages, and a 60 percent probability of success after as many as four miscarriages.  Although you can never replace the child that you lost, there is hope that you can build the family that you dream of.

*image courtesy of Steve Snodgrass / creative commons